i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There r osticjed everywhere
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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