So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
