yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
