There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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