My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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