i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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