she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
