don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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