friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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