You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
