Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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