Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
