Screwed.edu
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
