god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
