So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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