Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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