I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
