By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
