Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
