I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
