we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
