love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
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Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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