We named our party play list daddy issues
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
