whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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