"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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