God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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