problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
as a side note pls kill me
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