addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
