I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
