I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
