I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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