just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there's paper in my vomit.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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