my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
