..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
