the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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