You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
