i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
