I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think people are normalizing furries
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
