so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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