Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
