Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
