i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
