Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
