....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
