My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
