I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize