the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
