My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize