I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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