There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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