Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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