Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize