I must be too annoying 4 u.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
