This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i need some magic done to my vagina
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
