Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
