Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
