Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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