so that wasnt chicken after all
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
