And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
