You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No subtext here. People are naked.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
