Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
