did you get engaged???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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