i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize