oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
