I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
