i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
