Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
