She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I still have a little drunk in my system
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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